nuts and bolts

"Ricky it's me Betty Jo." She was very cheerful for a Monday morning. That meant she had bad news to deliver to me.

"You sound mighty chipper did someone die?"

"I don't know, have you been out and about?" The insinuation was in her voice.

"You know I don't kill people any more."

"It's the, any more, part that keeps your parole officer up nights."

"So what on your mind BJ?"

"You know I hate when you call me that. You only do it when you don't need money."

"Not true, I do it whenever you have that all full of yourself tone of voice. So what is it that your Ivy league security people can't do?"

"You ever heard of Sara Marlow?"

"No, should I have?"

"Don't you ever watch TV?"

"They don't have cable this far out. They barely have electricity. I catch the news and a few old TV shows or a movie on line.?"

"Sara is making the talk show rounds. She is a big deal psychic."

"Sorry, I never heard of her."

"Well she has heard of you. Of course maybe it is just her manager who has heard of you."

"What the hell is that all about?"

"Beats me, but they want to hire us to guard Sara during a book tour, but only if you are the bodyguard."

"Why me?"

"I don't know, but they are willing to pay the rate times two for you."

"That makes no sense."

"None at all, but the boss said to offer it to you. The decision is yours. The boss is afraid that it is some kind of scam."

"Sure does sound like it."

"If you want it, drop me an email before lunch. I have to give her an answer. I will email you the details, if you want it."

"Is she for real?"

"Who knows, I do know she is making big bucks at it. She has been for some times, so it isn't just a media hard sell. They have a hold on the tail and are chasing the dog."

"How long is the book tour?"

"About two weeks," Betty Jo said.

"Oh hell, send me the info. Tell her she has a body guard."

"Ricky, When you get there, if this looks hinky just say no and leave."

"You can count on it. When does the gig start?"

"Not till Wednesday. You have to meet them Wednesday night at the hotel in DC. The book tour starts there with a couple of days of book signings. Then there is a book TV show over the weekend. There might be some sight seeing involved."

"Right," I replied pushing the disconnect button immediately.

Since I had a couple of days, and it was squirrel season, I decided to go stake out a spot. Finding squirrels around the shack was nothing more than walking into the woods out back. Fifty paces then sit on a fallen log and wait. That was all it took. Killing one of them was a different story entirely.

It was a condition of my parole that I not own a firearm. I had absolutely no desire to go back inside, so I avoided the possibility that some game warden would bust me. I did my hunting without firearms. It actually was more challenging to hunt with a crossbow.

Yes I had a collection of crossbows. Some I made myself, some I bought new, and some I bought to restore. It was as good a hobby as any. On that Monday morning I chose a fiberglass bow with a light action. Light meaning the draw weight was around 150lbs thus it released the bolt at a slower speed. One of the high draw weight bows, about 400 lbs, would embed even a blunted bolt into a tree. I tried not to fill the trees around my house with alum bolts. I sure as hell had no desire to climb a tree in order to recover a piece of alum tubing.

The low tension bow fired a ten inch bolt. The bolts from that light in the ass crossbow traveled at only about twenty miles per second. About half the speed of a normal crossbow, if there were such a thing. The bolt would hold it's trajectory for about twenty yards before it dropped much.

I packed the bow and five bolts into the woods. Once in place I spanned the bow,inserted the bolt and waited. The crossbow was a replica of an 11th century bow. It was made with modern materials. As a replica it had no safety. The nut could be tickled accidentally so I kept it pointed downrange at all times.

Since I had painted the bolts fire engine red, they were fairly easy to find, unless they got tangled in a tree. I fired three bolts, all of them missed their marks. Since I recovered them all, even though I didn't kill anything, I considered it a successful hunt.

Later that day I got the details of the job. It was just as Betty Jo said, I was to baby sit the psychic. Betty Jo sent along a few publicity pictures for me. I suppose it was so that I could recognize the client without a lot of hoop or la. The client was attractive enough but not gorgeous. She really seemed to be more pleasant looking than anything else. From the pictures she seemed to be around my age. At the time I was thirty three so give or take a couple of years she was around thirty five.

I was met in the lobby of the Airport Hilton, located just outside the Ronald Regan International Airport, by Sara's business manager. Since I didn't have his picture, he had to recognize me. I thought I might have to wear a rose in my lapel but obviously he had seen a picture of me.

"Mr Ames," The thin man said as he approached me. "I'm Edward Wilson. You can call me Eddie."

"Alright Eddie, before we waste any time let me advise you that I do not carry firearms. I also am not a marshal arts expert. That being said, I'm not quite sure why you asked for me."

"Sara would agree to a bodyguard only if he was not armed. She has a thing about men with guns."

"What kind of thing?"

"She thinks that she will be killed on this trip by a man with a gun."

"If I felt that way, I would want a man with a cannon." I meant it.

"I agree, but she is convinced that it is fate. She agreed to have you with us on the tour just to make sure no one else gets hurt. I chose you, because I have been told that you are competent even without a firearm."

"Well I am still alive." I gave it some thought before I went on. "Does Ms Marlow have any reason to feel that she is in danger?"

"She is a psychic. She doesn't need any evidence. She says that she just knows this trip is going to be the end of her."

"If she feels that strongly, why do it?"

"She is on a mission. A mission to have her book read by as many people as possible. She does not want to leave her daughter the legacy of a fraud, but of a woman who can see things others can't. She will go anywhere and do anything to further that goal. "

"To be honest she sounds a little out in left field, but I will do what I can to make sure she is wrong about this trip."

"That's all I can ask," Eddie said with an inappropriately wide smile.

I just hate when people send inappropriate signals.