Gorilla warfare

I had spent the day working on an old jeep. One I had picked up at an auto auction in D'ville. I was covered in grease and about to step into a tub of hot water. I had no shower and no running hot water in the shack. I had to heat the water on either the kitchen stove or on the wood stove in my one large room. There was a chemical toilet just outside the rear door. The shack had never had a bathroom. It was a real shack, not just a cutesy name.

"Hello," I said into the cell phone.

"Richard Burke please," the male voice asked.

"I'm Richard Burke, but I'm not buying anything."

"Well then it's a good thing I'm not selling anything."

"Okay, so what can I do for you, Mr?" I ended with a one word question.

"They just call me Big Ed."

"Well Big Ed, what can I do for you."

"You don't remember me? Gee I'm hurt." the voice said.

"Why should I remember a name I never heard?" I was losing my patience with the game.

"I thought you would want to know what happened to the wet pit bull."

"Oh, so you are one of those bikers who took the dog. I hope you found him a good home." I had been a little skeptical at the time of the incident. I would like to have stayed around to see what happened but I had to leave town that night.

"He is living in a high rise townhouse now. The toughest thing he has to do these days is keep his new owner's daughter amused."

"Good, it sounds like he has a better life than me."

"Me too," he replied.

"So is that all or is there more?" I had a feeling there would be more.

"Well since you seem to be an animal love I was wondering if you would do us a favor?"

"That depends, but I have to tell you I'm not an activist. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time."

"How do you feel about dog fighting?"

"I feel like people who fight dogs are cowards. Now if they really want to go into a ring with a pissed off pit bull and fight him with their hands, I probably wouldn't care."

"Well there is a dogfight circuit and one of the stops is in upstate New York. We got a lead on them, but the guys who runs it know all of us."

"So you want me to come in and be what? the Sheriff."

"No we want you to come in and kick ass. We have been dealing with cops and judges for a couple of years. Best we can do is get them in jail for a few months. The punishment don't fit the crime at all. You come in and find out where it is going to be held and we will swoop down and make them pay."

"And what you gonna do when they call the cops? Since they just get a few months for dog fighting, and you will get a couple of years for assault, who wins."

"They ain't gonna call no cops. These guys think they are some bad asses."

"So they hunt you down. It don't sound like you are gonna come out on top no matter what."

"What do you suggest?" Big Ed really did seem to want my opinion.

"Gorilla warfare."