I didn't hear from Harvey about the duplex all day so both issues were still weighing on my mind during my morning walk the next day. I would have called Harvey from the parking lot again, except that he had warned me the decision might be a while. I realized that it was Friday, If nothing happened that day it was going to be at least till Monday. I didn't have any real money tired up in it yetso that wasn't the issue. I had written Harvey a check for five hundred bucks just to show I was serious, but I didn't consider that a problem. I made up my mind again on the spur of the moment to call Harvey when I returned from the meeting with Wilson. Maybe he could light a fire under someone's ass at the bank.

Wilson was the department's head of personnel. He was a college trained boy who had always planned to climb through the administration ranks. It was obvious that he had made a better plan than me. During his twenty odd years he had made deputy chief, while I had made it only to Detective Sergeant.

The patrol division had their headquarters in the basement of the city hall building. The detectives worked from a substation in pig valley. However, the police administration offices filled most of the second floor of the city hall building. It seemed that the executive route was the way to go for sure.

"Detective Abba, I'm glad you could come in."

"I think it is a little soon to be discussing my future with the department, but I didn't feel as though I had a lot of choice." I had decided in the elevator to not be too cooperative, but also not to be hostile,

"I can see your point, since tradition has been to have this talk after the subject returns to work, but medical science has made great strides in predicting the course of recovery. So regardless of what we believe, we now have a pretty accurate model of your future."

"Oh, please let me in on it the doctor's haven't."

"Well for one thing chasing bad guys through the woods, will get you another heart attack with an almost 90% probability."

"Is that your subtle way of telling me I'm off the streets for good?"

"I'm afraid so John. I know you want me to be candid, so yeah you would be a danger to your partner."

"He knew there was no way a real cop would put a partner in danger for no good reason. It was a slimy trick, but an effective one. "So what is your plan B?" I asked.

"I'm sure you know there are three alternatives, we can shoehorn you into an administrative job, or we can give you a disability pension. As you know the third alternative is for you to take the twenty year pension and find a less stressful job."

"I did know all that, I didn't start with the cops last week Wilson, so what's it to be?"

"Well frankly I don't have a position for which you are qualified. But you are also not fit for full duty, so I am in a bit of a quandary."

"Well Chief, I have done twenty three years on the line, I'm not going quietly for you." I waited a second to see what he would do. "So are we finished here?" I finally asked.

"So you are going to fight me on this?" He obviously meant to make it personal.

"I am going to call the union lawyer when I get home. I will fight for my pension, you bet. I will either, continue working here, get my full pension like every other injured cop before me, or the department will be in court for years."

"I see," he replied.

"I hope so," I stood and left without saying goodbye. I second guessed myself all the way down in the elevator. I didn't bother to call the union rep, since I had already decided to just show up for work at the end of my five weeks. The ball was in the city's court as far as I was concerned.

I left the room absolutely sure that Wilson would find me the most demeaning job possible. I had a union rep for that kind of thing. It was about the only thing the union was good for, as far as I was concerned. Still it was something.

It was after three when I reached the parking lot. I switched the cell phone on and found that I had a message. It was simply to call Harvey. "So Harvey what's the word."

"The word is the place is yours, if you will take their deal. It is what you offered but all screwy. There are lots of hoops for you to jump through. They want to do a loan assumption."

"What is that all about?" I asked. I had no idea what it meant but I knew that I was probably not going to like it.

"Since your offer is close to the pay off on the house, they want you to just assume the 42,600 loan, but to pay the collection fees on top of the acquisition fees."

"What exactly are the numbers?" I was exasperated and it showed.

"The rate of the original mortgage was a lot higher because it was commercial. They want you to assume that and pay over a thousand dollars in unrecoverable fees."

"I'm going to need a comparison between what the payments will be on both types of loans." I said
"Even at the asking price it might be cheaper."

"I already did it. If you take their full sales price, your down stroke would be five grand plus closing and leave you financing 47k more or less. your payments would run about 4 bucks on twenty years."

"And if I go their way?"

"Penalties and fees would run around three grand total they said. I think you can believe them. The payments are going to be about 450 for 15 years and six months."

"How do they compare?"

"Over the term of the loan you would save about ten grand with the refi but the monthly payments would be more. All in all, if you can afford the payments, it's the better deal. Plus there would be no requirement that you actually live there," Harvey explained.

"When do we close?"

"They need a week at least to get the papers ready plus they have to check your credit."

"Okay Harvey let's do it."

"I'll make the call and have this ready for them to begin work Monday."

"Once we are absolutely positive, I need to give my landlord some notice and get a crew in there to do the repairs."

I was finished with the walk and standing by my car when I placed the call, "Harvey, do you have the offer ready for me to sign?"

"It's ready, but I think you should make a lower offer. One of my sources says that they are in a jam on that property. Its something about all this bailout and TARP stuff. Somehow they are jammed up on commercial loans, but money is available for homeowner loans. Since you are going to live in the house, it is a chance for them to get a toxic loan off the books. The payoff on that loan was 42,400. I think if you offer them 45 and still try the closing cost payment, you have a pretty good shot. You might have to agree to their holding the mortgage though."

"As long as the rates are the same, or close I can live with that. So how long will it take to hear back?"

"I'll have the papers ready by noon, You come by and messenger them to the bank for me. If they can get the man in charge to take a look, we might know today. More likely tomorrow or the next day. It could go into next week. These guy are under the gun so they might be in a bit of a hurry these days. Handling toxic assets is a real problem for the banks right now. All the banks have a lot of foreclosed property around. Lots of it worth less than the balance of the loan. Yours would be a real success story, so they might move on it quickly."

Win, lose, or Draw, Harvey's 500 bucks was going to be money well spent. "Okay Harvey, I'll be there at noon."

I went home for a plain egg sandwich on a hamburger roll. I would have at least put tomato on it if I had any left. I was going through tomatoes at a frightful pace. Over breakfast I used the laptop and wireless router to check my bids on Ebay. I found that I won a new film scanner for just under a hundred bucks. I knew that with that purchase, I could buy the other items needed for my new hobby from on online photo store. The scanner was the one expensive piece of equipment and that wasn't all that much.

I felt pretty good about myself as I went about my morning search for interesting things on the Net. I had a new place to live that would cut my expenses and a hobby planned that wouldn't bankrupt me. I expected even then that I could cut back my living expenses enough to survive on the small pension if I had to. I was beginning to enjoy finding ways to economize. I did miss eating out, but I had lost five pounds the first week of eating my own cooking. It was a good start on what the doctor expected.

I picked up the papers from Harvey, then delivered them to the bank. The receptionist took them without a word or a smile. It didn't appear to be a good time to work in the credit department of a bank.

I spent the balance of the afternoon napping, then spent the evening watching old canceled TV shows on the Web. It looked as though there were thousands not to mention all the current ones being played over the Net. It was after midnight when I finally dropped into bed.

It was raining again when I awoke the next morning. I forced myself to go to the mall to walk. I really did not like walking there but it was a necessary chore. After I finished what I felt was two miles, I sat down to make a call to Harvey. I was reaching into my pocket when it rang. I hoped that the call was from Harvey with good news.

"Sergeant Abba, this is deputy chief Wilson."

"Sure I know you chief, what can I do for you." I find that it is always best to be on the offense, even when you have no idea what is going on."

"Well frankly we need talk about your future with the department."

"Why, I haven't even had my follow up visit with the Doctor?"

"The department's consultant has seen your tests and treatment. We need to discuss his findings."

"This is rather quick isn't it?"

"A little more than usual, but we need to move on. Police work isn't like a grocery store. We can't sit around in limbo."

"We have been sitting around in limbo for the last twenty years that I have worked there."

"I know, but times are changing," he took a deep breath. "So can we do this tomorrow after lunch?"

"I don't see why not." I really wanted to hold off till I knew more from the doctor. Of course the city had a point. The damage and the treatment were a pretty good indication of the prognosis.

After the call I had a second thought. They obviously didn't expect me to return to my old job. They had made a decision whether to offer me a less than active duty position or to push me out of the plane. It was up to them either way, I had very little say in their decision. The only say I had was in my decision. If they offered me a desk, I had to decide if I would take it. The disability pension was better than the one I would get if I just took early retirement.

Well that would be interesting. I wondered if they would offer me a job hoping I would take retirement instead. I decided, on the spur of the moment, that I would take the job for a couple of months, if they offered me one. It would be a good lesson for them.

That research continued for the next three days. Nothing was happening with the Duplex, so I kept reading about photography. I really didn't learn much except that I could buy a scanner on ebay to scan negatives and slides. It was one way to avoid buying a two thousand dollar digital camera to do what the film cameras I already owned would do.

With that in mind I began checking ebay for a film scanner. I found a couple of new ones for just over a hundred bucks that would be able to give me the same resolution as a new high end digital camera. From the blog of an old time professional photographer I read about all the tricks to make it work. There were a lot of things the Film and scanner wouldn't do but with the combo it was still possible to use my cameras in combination with the new Internet printing services.

During my walk that third day, I got a call from a voice I didn't recognize. "Mr. Abba, this is Jerry Satterfield, the house inspector. I have your report ready could we meet so that I can deliver it."

And collect your fee, I thought. "Sure I'm out for a walk now, but I"m about ready to head home. Would you like to meet somewhere now or arrange if for later."

"We could do it now, if that's okay."

"Sure, do you have any place in mind."

"How about Sally's diner?" We can have a cup of coffee while you look the report over. If you have any questions I can try to answer them."

"That sounds reasonable. I should be there in about twenty minutes. I'm wearing jeans and a blue work shirt."

"Okay, I'm in jeans and a red knit shirt," he replied.

I finished my walk, then drove to the diner. I recognized him sitting in a booth by the window. "Jerry, John Abba, how is it going?"

"Just fine," he said slipping me the folder with a single piece of type written paper.

Asphalt shingles appear to be at, or near, the end of their usable life. Replacement in the near future is recommended.

At the time of re-roofing, recommend replacement of all plumbing boots.

Addition of gutters, downspouts, and splash blocks are suggested.

Recommend replacement of decayed fascia boards on the North side of the building.

Suggest replacing existing windows with thermal pane units. Some trim and window sills are decayed and should also be replaced. Addition of storm doors is suggested.

Deck railing are a potential hazard (wood is deteriorated, connections to supporting posts are weak, and spacing of balusters is more than the maximum allowed 4 inches) Immediate correction is strongly recommended.

Entry to attic (scuttle) is difficult and a concern. Observed indications that squirrels have been nesting at the right front corner. Entry appears to be through the right gable vent (screen wire is pushed back away from framing). Did not observe any other damage. Immediate correction is recommended. Additional insulation is suggested.
Installation of smoke and CO detectors is strongly recommended.

Cracks in the walls, sagging doors, and the off track sliding closet door in the right unit, indicate some typical foundation settlement.

Crawlspace appears to have excessive moisture (observed mildew on floor joists and very moist soil). Ensuring water is draining away from the structure will help. Suggest covering the crawlspace soil with 6 mill poly. Also suggest the addition of floor insulation. Observed the sill along the front of both units has deteriorated. Correction recommended. Also observed the floor joist at the toilet in the left unit has been cut. Repair is recommended. If moisture problems continue, suggest you consider the installation of a humidity controlled exhaust fan in the crawlspace.

Kitchen sink drain in the right unit appears to be obstructed. Correction suggested.

Toilet in the left unit is loose at the floor. Correction recommended. Tubs in both units need caulking at tile walls. Addition of bathroom exhaust fans should be considered. Receptacles in bathrooms are not GFCI protected. Correction advised.

Suggest electrical system be reviewed by a licensed electrical contractor to determine overall condition and for upgrade recommendations.

Heating systems are functional and appear to be adequate.

Air conditioning by window units would be feasible. (Electrician may recommend installation of 220VAC outlets for units)

Plumbing, except for slow drain (as noted earlier) and loose toilet, appears to be adequate. (No leaks were observed.)

Both water heaters are near the end of their life expectancy. Replacement at a future date should be anticipated. (Pressure relief valves are functional.)

Also recommend a termite inspection by a licensed pest control company.

"How many layers of shingles are on the roof?" I asked after reading the report.

"Just one, so you should be able to do a nail over."

I nodded, I knew that the roof would have to be actually leaking or shingles missing before I replaced it. Then I said, "The gutters doesn't seem to be a big issue." I did make a note in my notebook about the rotted fascia board. I had already decided to go with storm windows so the trim replacement could be done at the same time. Thermal pane would be nice but the duplex didn't warrant that kind of expense. The toilet should be no more than tightening it up. Caulking the tubs went on my list, and with replacing the one receptacle over the sink with a ground fault receptacle.

The news about the heating and air conditioning was good. I was a little worried about that. I probably wouldn't need a plumber to clear the drain and tighten the toilet. Most likely my handyman could do that. Even though I would be looking at replacing the water heaters, they sounded safe enough. I would have to keep an eye out for leaking.

I probably had to spend no more than a thousand or so dollars to make the immediate repairs and get the trim painted, I decided that it was time for an offer on the duplex. The front foundation worried me a little, but I knew how those things could be fixed, so it didn't worry me too much. the house was well over fifty years old, so some of the settling was expected. How much had to be done was just a guess. I did make notes to not be shocked by Shorty Maness's estimate for that work. He could also recommend patches since he wouldn't want to farm it out to a big time masonry contractor.

I called Harvey from the parking lot. "Okay Harvey, I'm ready to do the offer to purchase."

"Tell me what you want and I'll have the paperwork ready."

"I will give them fifty even with my own financing. Do you think they will spring for closing cost."

"I doubt it unless you let them carry the loan. Let's make the offer and see what they come back with. They don't usually negotiate on the price but you have a couple of things going for you, so let's see how it goes. I'll get this ready and you come by the house tomorrow and sign up. I am going to call the bank and tell them we have an offer. Just to make sure it is still on the market with these guys you never know. It you don't hear back all is go."

"Fair enough," I replied. I went to the grocery story for a dozen frozen low-cal frozen dinners. I spent most of the rest of the day making the final decision on my photo equipment purchases. Then I made the bid for the scanner and various other smaller items on ebay.

I ended my day watching old tv shows on the INTERNET. I was doing a lot of that lately, I made the decision to drop my cable when I moved.

I spent the evening with the computer and the TV. The salads hadn't started to get old and the beef patties were still delicious. In my heart I knew that both of those would change soon enough. Still I was managing at that moment to stay on my diet and exercise plan. Lots of coffee and diet soda helped. The computer and TV occupied my time, and kept my mind off food, at least for that night.

When I went to bed, I was exhausted. The drained feeling was more from my body trying heel itself, the new exercise regiment, even though it wasn't much, and the mental gyrations of trying to buy somewhere to live. I hadn't closed my mind to other things, but the duplex was where my heart was at the moment.

I knew I needed the inspection by a pro, but I also knew that it could well be money down the drain. Harvey assured me the bank would not pay for any repairs, nor would they lower their price to compensate for any. It was the accepted practice that the bank did their own inspection then priced the property with that, as well as other considerations in mind. The seemingly great deal of a foreclosure might turn into a nightmare, if the buyer wasn't prepared.

I figured that I was willing to put 60 thousand total into the place. 52,000 wasn't going to leave a lot left for me to make repairs. All that ran around over and over in my head before I drifted off to sleep.

The rain was falling gently on my patio when I looked outside. I put coffee on to boil while I watched the morning news. Nothing much was happening locally it seemed. In the back of my head I realized that I hadn't turned on my scanner since I returned from the hospital. A week without any police information at all was a long time. I asked myself if I missed it. The answer was ambiguous at best.

As I drank my coffee I realized that I had to decide what to do about my walk. I know myself, and once I start to make excuses all my good intension just go all to hell. I knew in my heart that I could not skip that walk.

In our little town we have a small shopping mall. It is a joke that they have a geriatric nurse on stand bye from 8AM till noon to assist walkers who take ill. I suppose the old guy stigma is why I chose to walk in the park. I like to think it was the feeling of freedom from being outside. It appeared that, if I wished to walk that morning a compromise was in the cards.

After two more cups of coffee I loaded my ass into my ten year old Ford. The drive to the mall was almost exactly the same distance as to the park, but in a different direction. That is because the patio home I rented was in the middle of the urban area on the north end of town. The mall was on the outskirts of the urban sprawl and the park was closer to downtown.

When I arrived at the mall I found only one door open. The early morning occupants of the mall were walkers and the cleaning crew. I just went inside the lower entrance, walked through the short wing of retail stores, then turned right and began to walk in earnest. It was an experience not to be missed. Within one lap I was passed by an older man, who was much leaner and fitter than me. Yes he was at least twenty years older, but he moved extremely well for his age. It really wasn't all that embarrassing. It got embarrassing when others in less fit condition passed me as well.

In the park people passed me now and then, but in the confines of the mall, it appeared that some of them were going to pass me more than once. It was then that I devised a plan to avoid it happening. Yes it was ego, when I decided to do a lap on the bottom floor of the mall then take the escalator to the second floor and do a lap then repeat the route until I had covered what I thought was two miles. I knew that on the trail I walked a mile in about twenty minutes, so I would walk not more than forty five minutes in the mall.

At the end of two complete upstairs and downstairs laps, I figured I had done two miles, so I started looking for the exit. I passed one booth in the food court, with the smell of coffee hanging in the air around it. It was a struggle, but I managed to pass it by. I simply reminded myself that coffee at home would be much less expensive.

One of the things that I realized rather quickly about the mall walk was that I had nothing to do but to scheme. On the trail walk I looked at the trees and even now and then a small furry animal. There were always dogs and their owners at whom to marvel. In the mall I was lost in my own head. It did give me almost an hour to plan out my day.

At home I drank another cup of coffee and started putting my plans in action. I found my box of business cards. I kept business cards from people I interviewed on the job. Most were witnesses but I had a few cards from people who were doing time at that particular moment in time.

I sorted through the cards for people in the home improvement business. There were a lot of them it seemed. Men and even a couple of women who couldn't manage real jobs. Some people, even with the best of intentions, just couldn't get to work on time, or follow directions when they did. Those were the largest part of the self employed people of the world. Yes there were some highly ambitious souls, but not as nearly many as there were marginal workers.

I remember Shorty Maness once I saw his business card. His card called him the house doctor. I remember him as a handyman type, who worked three or four days a week usually. I talked to him when he had a table saw stolen from his equipment building. We never did find the saw but eventually the mooch who took it got grabbed up by a homeowner with an old rusty shotgun. The mooch was thrilled to see the cops arrive. He was shaking hard. He was so grateful that he copped to about fifty thefts in the area. One of them being Short's table saw.

Anyway Shorty sounded like a possibility to do the inspection, and maybe some of the repairs, I made a call to Harvey at home.

"Harvey, I'm sorry but two bucks just seems to be more than the inspection is worth to me. I know a home repair guy who will do an inspection as part of the job estimate."

"You haven't called him yet have you?"

"No, why?"

"The way business is Jerry might do you a better deal, if he knows you have a backup plan. I would feel a lot better, if you have an independent inspection. Jerry does this all the time."

"Harvey, don't try to blow smoke up my ass, what's it to you who does it."

"Okay Abba, Jerry is a cousin. I try to throw him some work." I'm sure he realized how that sounded because he rushed on. "He is licensed and bonded for this kind of work. I'm sure your home boy isn't."

"Okay Harvey, in the spirit of cooperation I'll go one buck no more."

After the call to Harvey, I began looking at the cereal box with loving affection. finally I gave in and make a huge bowl with dried fruit. By the time I finished, it was time to really get the day started. Then I realized that I had nothing planned for the day. I knew in my heart that without a job, there would be a lot of days with me scrambling around for ways to pass the time.

That morning I went on line to research the changes in photography since I had last shot pictures. I was surprised to find that I spent over three hours and had barely scratched the surface of the information available.

"Hi, my name is Dolores how may I help you?" I just hate perky women half my age. Dolores was all of that and she was a customer representative at the Home Credit Union with which the city was affiliated.

"I'm thinking about buying a house. You do make home loans?"

"Oh yes sir, we certainly do. Just a moment and I'll see if Mr. Smith has a moment."

She turned and walk down a short hall. I watched her cute little ass as she went. I noticed as she walked back that her top end was a little sad looking, compared to her cute little ass. Oh well, most women aren't perfect no matter what the advertisers would like us to think.

"Just a moment and Mr. Smith will be right with you."

Smith was and even softer chubbier guy than me. "He was also not so bubbly as Dolores for which I was thankful. "So you are interested in a home loan. Would that be a first mortgage, second mortgage, or line of credit?" he asked.

"It's going to be a first mortgage. I would like to be pre qualified so I will know what sized house to check out." Yes it was a lie, but Harvey had warned me that the banks would rather make big loans than small ones. "Get a loan commitment and then spring the smaller amount on them," he suggested.

"Come into the office and let's do the paperwork and see," he suggested. Smith asked me about a hundred questions. The only one that seemed to be even a little shaky was length at my present address. I had been in the rental house five years. I moved there right after the divorce. Previously I had lived in the house my wife and I were buy for ten years. That bit of information made him a lot happier. That and the over twenty years on the police force really brightened his day.

"Everything here is great. I do wish you had more recent credit but the house loan and the car should be more than enough, unless you were late on something."

"I was never late or the house or car. I did send in a credit card payment a week late once, because the statement got lost in the mail. Otherwise my record should be clear."

"Well you won't get the definitive word for a couple of weeks, but if everything is as you say, I would thing you would be safe looking at the 150 to 200 thousand range. But keep in mind with the market being what it is you will need at least ten percent down, even with a FHA or VA loan."

"What about payments?"

"Just a really rough estimate would be around half a percent of the loan per month. That is just a guess but it gives you an idea. If you escrow your insurance and taxes probably about 8/10s of a percent. That's at the current rate and it might be a bit more or less of course."

I decided to figure one percent to be safe. With all that in mind, I became more confident in my ability to make the plan work, even with a reduced retirement. On the drive, from the credit union to my rental house, I began thinking about having the duplex checked out.

When I called Harvey on his cell phone I got a out of the area message. I knew damn well he was at the fire house or on a call so I drove home. I figured I would call him later. Hell I needed a nap anyway. My body was still trying to heel itself.

At home I microwaved and egg, then turned it into a sandwich. That and the black coffee didn't seem like too many calories, so I slipped off to bed feeling pretty darn good about staying with my plan.

It was after five when I awoke from my nap. I felt pretty groggy for a while. After two cups of stale coffee it was better. I reached Harvey on the first try. "You been out on a call?" I asked.

"Yeah around noon, then again an hour ago. Why have you been trying to reach me?"

"Yeah do you know someone who can do an inspection on that duplex. Kind of give me an idea what kind of condition it is in."

"Did you get your loan guarantee this quick?"

"No but I didn't lie to him. He sorta told me it looked okay to start checking out places."

"The guy I know will charge you two hundred bucks for the inspection." Harvey sounded almost apologetic. "It's his minimum charge."

"That's a hell of a lot for an hours work." I remarked.

"Especially since there is no negotiations on the price with the bank. Still it's a decision to walk or buy. It might be worth the $200 to feel that you weren't being ripped off."

"Let me think about it overnight and I'll get back with you."

The units were very small that was for sure, but if I could, manage in one, I figured a single person could as well. I figured I could make the place and the rent attractive enough. My mind was racing as I drove to the fire house. My number one plan was to get someone who had a better idea of the condition of structures to examine the duplex. I needed to know more or less what kind of repairs and how much money I was going to have in the Little duplex. I wanted to know that before I decided whether to buy it or not. I didn't expect that the bank wanted too much for the post WWII era structure, but still there was no way to know what the total cost would be until I took a comprehensive look at it.

"Harvey, did you get all the details on the duplex?" I asked it ten minutes after leaving the property. I had to return the keys anyway. I figured I might as well start getting some idea of the steps necessary to purchase the duplex if the numbers were right.

"Let me get the papers," Harvey said walking back inside to living area. I stayed in the truck bay. I really had no interest in letting him pin me down at that point. I just wanted the quick version of the deal with the bank.

He was back with a file folder five minutes later. "Sorry had to explain the captain. They are getting tough on doing outside work on duty. Too many guys are tied to their cell phones. They are not doing the firehouse chores as they should."

"I could wait till tomorrow," I suggested.

"No you are already here and you aren't the kind of guy to do paperwork this quick. For that we are going to have to meet somewhere else."

"Just give me the numbers and procedure in the abbreviated version, so I can be on my way and get the captain off your ass."

"Right, tax value on the building is 65k. You know that market value can be as much as 20% above tax value."

"So I'm told."

"Since this is a foreclosure it is sold for less than market value."

"I knew that as well."

"Because it is below market, the house is sold as is. There are no warrantees at all."

"So I need to have someone check it out and tell me how much more I'm going to be spending. I get taht part right now I want to know what the bank is asking?"

"The price they put on the house is 52.500. I don't think they will budge on it. Banks seldom negotiate on foreclosures."

"So if the repairs come in at twenty thousand, there would be no benefit to buying a foreclosure?"

"No, but they usually have it priced so that the repairs would still bring it in below market. Right now the market is crap for sales so I'm not sure the rules will apply."

"Can I get the money anywhere or do I have to finance with them?"

"They will give you incentives to finance with them but they will be happy to take the payout."

"Could you arrange a loan assumption on the property?"

"Are you going to live in one of the units or is it just investment property?"

"I'm going to live in it for a while at least.

"Then yoiu don't want to assume. The deal is much better for a home owner. There are lots of buyer incentives right now."

"Okay if I go the whole load, what will the payments and escrow run?"

"On a twenty year load the bite would probably be about six bucks a month. Maybe even a little less, depending on the financing."

"I'll stop by my bank and get a pre approval," I suggested.

"Go by the city worker's credit union while you still can."

"Good idea," I agreed.

When I awoke the next morning, I had a cup of left over coffee, then headed to the park. I noticed an older man walking with a far overweight white dog. The two of them seemed to share something almost mystical. The dog looked up and even if the old man was looking in a different direction entirely, he still knew to throw the ball. The dog trotted over to retrieve it. If the dog had run he most likely would have had a heart attack. If he did I expect that the old man would try CPR on him. They just seemed to have that kind of bond.

After the walk I stopped by the firehouse for the keys to the tiny duplex. Harvey was sitting in the kitchen with a coffee cup in front of him, when I arrived. "I would offer you a cup Abba, but the guys have a rule."

"Hell everyone has a coffee rule these days. Mine is drink free coffee whenever I come across it. These days that is damn seldom.

"Yeah I know." He spoke as he searched his pockets for the key. "Here you go. Bring it back and we will talk about the property."

"Not a problem," I replied as I left the fire station kitchen.

The duplex was less than ten minutes from the fire station. I sat in front of the frame structure giving it a frank appraisal. The place was going to be really small inside I decided. I made that assumption based on the width of the house. It might have been a little over thirty feet wide. If so it would be very little.

I left the comfort of my car to walk around the house covered in faded asbestos siding. I wanted to get a feeling for the size as well as see the yard before I went inside. The yard was a mess as any neglected yard would be. I couldn't tell from the outside how long the bank had owned the house but it had been a while since anyone paid any real attention to it. contract yard crews cut the grass but not much more.

In the rear of the house I noted two small decks separated by about ten feet of grass. The decks were a pleasant surprise. The front of the house sported two concrete stoops but nothing else. The decks would be a good family type feature. I could grill out and even have company over for a cookout. I circled the entire house and found nothing except unkept grass and a few overgrown shrubs. At least the yard wasn't filled with beer cans, syringes, or used condoms.

I checked out both front stoops, and found them solid with no apparent problems. By that I mean there were no cracks in the concrete and they both seemed to be level. I went into the right unit first. The smell was pretty bad in there. It wasn't an animal feces smell at least. It mostly smelled of being closed up without air for months. I was pretty sure that it was the cause.

I entered into what had to be the smallest living room I had ever seen. It couldn't have been more than 8' by 12'. It would be possible to fit one sofa but most like no matching chair. I wooden rocker or some other small chair might make it inside the room without being a trip hazard, but even that would be questionable.

The carpet was dirty and stained. It was also a question mark. I might be able to find someone to clean it, but I didn't hold out a lot of hope. I removed the cop style spiral steno note pad from my packet and wrote 'carpet', Before I moved on I also wrote 'roof'. With the new roofing materials, it is impossible to tell the condition of the roof, without getting on it. I had no intention of doing that myself.

The living room had an overhead fixture and three wall plugs. That seemed like an adequate number, so I wrote nothing. I looked carefully at the walls. Other than the expected amount of wear and tear the drywall seemed in good condition. I simple wrote paint for the walls. I walked around the outer walls of the room. I was checking the floors and they seemed solid enough. I expected that they had long ago slipped out of level but I made no notes about that.

I entered the long narrow hall next, the first door led to a postage stamp sized bath. The tub would be great for a midget or child. Still it would be an adequately since it also had a shower head over the tub. The sink was a stand alone wall mounted version. It did not have a cabinet base. However there were shelves over the toilet and it did have a medicine cabinet.

There were ceramic tiles on the walls surrounding the tub. I didn't have much hope that it was in good shape but it did look serviceable. The floors seemed solid so I felt pretty good about that.

I checked out the very, very small bedroom beside the bath. It seemed to be about 8' wide and ten feet long. I also had a small closet. Storage was going to be an issue with the units.

The kitchen was a galley type thing. The rear wall of the house held the sink, some cabinets and the electric stove. I found a small hot water heater under one of the base cabines.The refrigerator was small but a bit larger than an apartments sized unit. The door mercifully had been propped open. The kitchen door opened onto the small deck.

I found the electrical fuse box on the exterior kitchen wall. It was complete with five circuits with fusetrons. The fuse box wasn't modern and the service was only 75 amps but it should do the trick as long as I stayed away from electric heat. Still I wrote electric and plumbing in the notebook.

The left unit was a mirror image of the first. The carpet looked a little better but still in need of some attention. Evereything else was about the same.

I slipped into my new schedule pretty easily, The next morning I took my walk without any real planning. I just did it, as if it were a long standing habit. I was till pretty weak so the two miles kicked my ass.

After the walk I had a bowl of cereal with dried fruit. It tasted less like cardboard, when laced with cinnamon and sugar free maple syrup. It was sweet enough with just a few calories so it was a good breakfast.

After my 10AM breakfast, I did research on the Internet. I was till looking for something to occupy my time. I also mulled over the tiny little duplex in the isolated neighborhood. It continued to appeal to me, so shortly afternoon, I made a call to Harvey Simpson. Harvey was a real estate agent and also a city fireman. He really wasn't much of a real estate agent, since he never went looking for clients or listings, If a cop, fireman or other city employee needed his help with the paperwork he would handle it. He did that for a much smaller fee than a Realtor would have. Instead of the 7% most charged, Harvey would handle the paperwork for a flat 500 bucks plus the listing agents fee. He had no control over the listing agents fee. That's what he said anyway.

"Harvey, John Abba here."

"John, I thought you were dead."

"Naw somebody spoke to my ex and she said she wished I was dead," I said it then laughed.

"So what can I do for you?"

"I want to take a look at a bank foreclosure, can you help me arrange it?"

"Which bank?"

"Southern Home Loan I think." I had picked that name up by calling the listing agent.

"Sure, give me the address, I'll give them a call and then you can pick up the key at the firehouse tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan. It's 811 Hayes Street."

"Ah is that one of the duplexes?"

"Yes it is."

"John those things are old and tiny. You can buy it cheap, but it's going to need some real work I expect."

"Well I might just have plenty of time to work on it."

"They going to push you out of the plane or are you going to jump ship?"

"Probably push me out but I'm not going to ride a desk so if push comes to shove I might jump."

"You don't have thirty yet?" he asked.

"No twenty three, so I would like them to push me out."

"Yeah there are a few more bucks if they do the disability thing. What is the deal now?"

"Base pension I get either way and if they push me out the city will pay 1/2 the difference between that and my pay now. It's about four hundred bucks a month. They do that until Social Security kicks in."

"Yeah I can see why you would prefer the help making that decision." he waited a while then said, "Tell you what, I'll have that key this afternoon, do you want me to run it by your place."

"Don't bother Harvey but I'll probably be by the firehouse before lunch."

"Not a problem, if the truck is gone, just wait for me, or come find me."

We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone.

I went back to my computer search. I was looking at all kinds of things on line. One of my searches was of job openings listed with the city personnel office. Just to get an idea of what the city might offer me. They didn't have anything, other than file clerk, in the police department.

It was after midnight when I shut down the computer, but only after watching a three year old movie on line. The computer was quickly becoming my friend. I planned to drop my cable, if push came to shove. The computer had half a dozen sites where I could watch TV shows three days after they aired on the networks.

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I stewed all night about what my next move should be. I fell asleep in front of the TV sometime after midnight. When I awoke the next morning I still didn't have a clue what I should do. I'm sure the doctor would have told me just to take it easy and not worry about my position in life. That sounded real good, but then he wasn't in my position.

I mean I was about to lose the biggest part of my income, so I would be living in a house I most likely could no longer afford. The doctor had not so kindly informed me that I was fifty pounds over weight. "You either get rid of that extra weight or go ahead and order the coffin," he said. "While you are at it, stop smoking and exercise more," He saw how little I cared for his comments then added. "I'm not kidding Mr. Abba, take my advice or preplan your funeral. it will save your family the trouble."

It looked as though my whole life was about to change and not, in my opinion, for the better. I had already given up smoking. It was hard but the worst of it was over in the hospital. After five days the physical symptoms were pretty much gone. The mental part of addiction was a bitch but seemed doable.

I decided on the spur of the moment to postpone breakfast. It was my grand plan to start walking every morning for exercise. At that moment I made the first of my life altering decisions. Breakfast would be my reward for the morning walk. It wouldn't be much of a reward, since I planned to start my starvation diet that very morning. Might as well get all the body shocks over at one time.

So instead of heading out for a fast food biscuit, I made coffee. When I made coffee that morning I followed my usual plan. I put eight cups of cold water into a plastic container. The container was wider than it was tall, so that it would fit into my microwave oven. To the water I added four scoops of ground coffee. I put it in the microwave for five minutes.

I did that before I brushed my teeth, combed my hair or put on my clothes. The five minutes gave me just enough time to walk to the curb for my newspaper. Since I hadn't dressed, it was a good thing that I fell asleep in my usual tee shirt and sweat pants. It was my TV watching costume as well as my sleep outfit.

When I took the plastic container from the microwave, it was steaming as usual. I don't know about anyone else's, but my microwave heated the water to a rolling boil in five minutes. I had long ago broken the Mr coffee machine, but I still used the filter system and the carafe. I poured the boiled coffee through the strainer and into the pot on which it sat. Coffee made that way was strong but not bitter. I do hate a bad cup of coffee, even if I am an expert on them.

After two cups of coffee and a quick read of the paper I was ready to shower and dress for the day. Since I had no plans to see anyone, I wore jeans and a blue work shirt for my trip to the walking trail. I lived close enough to the downtown so that the trail was only two miles from home.

I drove my car to the park where the trail began. I knew the park well since I often slipped into it for a rest while working patrol division. Lots of cops did the same thing. That was probably the best policed spot in town after midnight.

I had never walked on the trail, so it was interesting to note the mile markers not to mention the people. That first morning I did a mile out and a mile back. I was exhausted when I got back to my car. I knew right then that the doctor had a point, I really was out of shape.

I sat on a bench near my car gasping for at least ten minutes. I continued to look around out of habit I expect. There were about a dozen people in the park even at 8am. Some were walkers like me, some were having a grand time playing with their dogs. I noticed that none of them were young. They were all on the dark side of fifty it appeared.

No one spoke to me and I spoke to no one. Still we did smile at each other as we passed. I felt better once my breathing went back to normal. I feel pretty good, I thought as I walked to the car, When I got home, I still had two cups of coffee in the pot, so naturally I drank them as I fixed breakfast.

The best way for me to diet is to count calories and combine that with food selections based on the jungle diet. I called it that because I was living on the edge of the jungle when the doctor told me what to eat and what to avoid eating.

Eggs were in, biscuits and toast were out. So I put a couple of eggs into a bowl, then put the bowl into the microwave. Three fourths of a minute later I added a piece of cheese and some fake bacon bits along with dried onion flakes. Another half minute in the microwave and I had a not too terrible and somewhat filling omelet, of sorts.

After breakfast I began thinking about my housing situation. I spent about an hour gnawing at the problem, like a dog with a bone, before I fell asleep on the sofa again.

I suppose the driving ban was to protect the other people on the road from me. I might have gone along, if I liked any of the other people on the road. Since all my family lived in a different town, screw the other drivers, I thought,

I did make a deal with my conscience. I would only drive to places I absolutely needed to go. I would also drive carefully and stay out of traffic as much as possible. All those things to minimize the risk and to salve my conscience.

After dinner any other night I might have stopped by a country and western bar for a couple of beers, but since I was trying to behave I went straight home. I also went straight to bed.

The next morning my landlord came by. Since the rent wasn't overdue, I was a little surprised. He sure as hell wasn't at the house to make repairs so I wondered why.

I wondered until he stated, "I just came over to see for myself. Rumors are floating around that you are dead."

"As you can see, I'm as alive as ever."

"Yeah, I can see that. So you didn't get shot?"

"No, but I did have a heart attack chasing some mooch through the woods."

"At our age you would think we would know better." It was obvious from his tone, that he thought he would know better, even if a dumb ass like me didn't. Him knowing better than to risk it is probably why I could never get the snow cleared from my driveway.

The drive was shared with three other houses owned by the same owner. They all backed onto a common grass area as well as a common parking lot. I imagine they were once called patio homes until he bought the whole pod of them. They were a couple of steps above slums but they were short steps. Still they beat the heck out of an apartment building.

"So you going to stay with the cops?" I realized then why he was really visiting me. He wanted to get a heads up. If I was planning to leave the cops, I might also be planning to move out. The sooner he knew the better for him.

"Depends on what they offer me. I won't be cleared to go back for at least a month. I'll take that time to look around."

"Well let me know as soon as you decide please." The please was because I had been out of lease for five years or more My renting was month by month. I was obligated to give him a month's notice, but he would like longer I knew. Finding a good tenant wasn't as easy as it had once been. The economy had a lot of deadbeats looking for reasonable rent. Rent was my biggest expense for sure. My ex wife told me, almost every time I talked to her, that I was one cheap bastard.

The landlord didn't know the cop policy on deadbeat cops but I did. I could either be offered a light duty job or an early retirement. I had no skills to place me in the running for the lab so the best I could hope for would have been dispatch ten years before. By the time my heart decided to miss a couple of beats, police dispatch was a thing of the past. Not totally but the 911 system put a hit on it. There was only one police dispatcher per shift. Their only reason to exist was to know who was on break and who was in the field in case someone asked. When not taking piss break calls, they were records clerks or maybe typists. I wasn't even qualified to do that job

I was pretty sure that it was half pension for me. Most of the guys who went out that way ended up as bank guards or couriers. One could almost live on the half pension but not totally live on it. When social security kicked in at 65 there would be enough to squeak by. I had seventeen years to go before I could squeak by. Since that was the case, I spent the day trying to assess my real abilities. I kept coming up with an empty glass. It wasn't half full or half empty it was bone dry.

Breakfast had been an egg sandwich made in the microwave. It wasn't too bad but not something I liked as a steady diet. Still it was better than my lunch of two packs of peanut butter crackers and a diet coke. I wasn't ready to face the world that afternoon, but I was starving. I found out yet again that hunger trumped my good intentions not to drive. I thought I might make a list of people I didn't really hate. I could call down the list before I went onto the roads. In the end I decided screw'em let them watch out for themselves,

Out of respect for Sadie, I didn't go there more than once a week. She had told me years before that I was bad for her business. It seemed that too many of her customers had outstanding warrants. They had no way of knowing that serving warrants came below cleaning out stables on my least of things to do next.

I drove to Burger Burger's drive thru window for dinner. They made the best dollar burger in town. I should know I had eaten my share and about a dozen other people's as well. I guess my ex was right, if you looked at it that way.

After dinner I stopped for gas at the 24 hour gas and beer mart. "Hey Abba, I heard you were dead." I turned to see Lucy the teenaged paramedic.

"You know better you are the one who hauled my ass to the hospital."

"Yeah, but you know how much more interesting a rumor is than the truth," she said absently.

"Yeah, I guess that is true enough."

"So you going back to the pig valley?" They called the police substation pig valley because it sat on a piece of land no one in their right mind would buy. It was like being in a bowl. Every time it rained it was up to my ankles in the parking lot. The pumps in the basement could almost keep up with the rain. Once in a while the basement water got high enough to shut down the hot water and once even the furnace got flooded. It was a stupid place to build a police station, but the city had bought it cheap.

"I don't know. I don't think the doctor is going to re certify me. Who knows maybe he will."

"Abba, You do know the evaluation period is three years. They don't have to give you a job of any kind during that period."

"Yeah I know Lucy. I'm giving it all a lot of thought."

"Then you should think about one of those bank guard jobs," she chuckled at the thought of me being in uniform again. Even a rent a cop uniform was out of the question.

"Yeah, I'll think about it."

I should have had the young cop put the cuffs on me for the trip to my house. It would have given the staff and visitors and easy explanation for the patrol car. Since I couldn't leave the hospital without a ride, and since I hadn't told anyone about the heart attack, I arranged for a police car to pick me up at the entrance to the hospital. Fortunately I live in a small town so the ride from the hospital to my small rental house was no more than five minutes.

My personal vehicle sat in the drive. I had given my keys to a supervisor, when he visited me in the hospital. No doubt he had someone drive it to my house, not as a grand gesture of support, but to get it out of the station's small parking lot. I didn't care what his motivation, I had a car and that was important to me. Even though I had sworn an oath not to drive for five weeks, it was one oath I planned to ignore.

Hell even the ten year old car had power everything. It was almost impossible to find a car that didn't. With all that power assist,I could drive the damn thing from my hospital bed. I had planned to buy a brand new truck when I retired, but I no longer thought that I would have enough money for that kind of purchase.

I had become a napper in the hospital,so it was well into the afternoon,when I walked carefully to my old car. Mine was the easiest to find in any parking lot. One of the women I took to dinner now and then said the color and paint condition reminded her of stone washed jeans. The once royal blue paint had come off in sheets. The missing paint revealed the galvanized metal underneath.

I drove the car only a couple of miles so I felt as though I was adhering to the spirit of my oath, if not the letter of it. Sadie's cafe was run by a huge black woman. She had been all things in the early days of the cafe. By the time I discovered the place, she was down to supervisor and cashier. Oh yeah she was also the owner.

Sadie was busy making change when I entered. It took her a while to acknowledge me. "Mr Abba, I heard you was dead."

"Not today, Sadie," I replied.

"Lot of my people gonna be sorry to hear that,' she said it with a laugh. She might not be wrong though. I had put a lot of people in jail in my career of over 20 years. A high percentage of them had been black. I didn't think of it as racism but just an indication of the facts of life in Carthage. The cycle of poverty was never ending in the black community. Poverty breeds crime, and crime gives guys like me a job. So it was just the natural order of things.

"How about you Sadie, would you have missed me?"

"Sure and the girls here two." she said with a smile. Then she added, "Ain't that many good tippers in this area."

"Well you tell them to put that on my stone when I'm really gone." I smiled, then turned to the counter. I wouldn't dare sit in a booth alone. Sadie had her rules and I expected that they would apply to the dead, as well as the almost dead.

"Hey Mr. Abba, I heard you was dead," the waitress stated flatly.

"Wishful thinking, I expect." I smiled even though it was beginning to wear thin already.

"Well if'n you ain't dead what you want to eat."

"Got any Angle food cake?" I asked it smiling.

"No, but I got some devil's food chocolate cake back there," she replied with a smile.

"Now that was cold Jazz."

"I know so what do you want?"

"Bring me the special." I neither asked not looked on the menu. I knew the special was always meatloaf on Wednesday night. Sadie insisted that her meatloaf have only cheap ground beef. There were no fancy stuff or cheap filler. It was just greasy hamburger with onions and tomato sauce on top.

Sadie's meatloaf was crunchy on the outside and tender on the inside. I was one of the few white people who knew her secret. I was sworn to secrecy before I could go into the kitchen to investigate an assault ten years previously. Yes it was a Wednesday night. When I went into her kitchen, I found three ten pound meat loaves draining on a rack by the french fry vats. Sadie cooked her meatloaf in the deep fat fryer. I never told a soul what I had seen. Her meatloaf was like the holy grail of meatloaf. She would have banned me from her place at least, but more likely she would have had someone cut off my balls. Sophie might look like a quiet old grandma, but she could be mean as hell, I'm told.

It begins

My first thought was, I'm getting to old for this shit. I kept moving through the trees on the edge of the golf course. The pounding in my chest was no worse than any other time I had to run for it. I knew it was too many donut's and too little exercise on a regular basis.

When I finally arrived at the spot where the uniformed officer had one of the gunmen cornered, I thought my chest would explode. "Damn, the desk clerk should have shot this mooch and saved me that damn run."

"No shit, why is it always some fucking track star that takes off running through he woods. just once I want it to be some old man." The comment came from another out of shape cop.

"Holy shit Mike, I can't catch my breath."

"Are you alright Abba?"

"I don't know man. I feel like crap," I replied. That was the last thing I remember because everything suddenly went dark.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked of the lady in a white hospital scrub suit. She could have been a doctor, a nurse, or the cleaning lady. I thought at the time, that they all looked alike to me.

"I'm the woman trying to keep you alive until the doctor gets his lazy ass in here." She said it smiling. She obviously knew that I was a cop and unlikely to rattle her world with a complaint.

"Give me my fucking gun and I'll get him," I said. "Better still give me something for this pain in my chest and he can take his time.

"That's just it, you can't have anything till they take a look at your heart."

"So I'm having a heart attack?"

"Don't you recognize it?"

"How would I recognize it?"

"This isn't your first one," she said it as she looked at the graph coming out of an EKG machine.

"It's the first one I even had, as far as I know."

"Well it isn't the first one. Now try to stay calm."

"Hey, I can be calm as hell. I just want you to get me my gun, so I can find that wayward doctor."

"You looking for me?" A young man said standing by the door.

"Yes doctor, Mr. Abba is having a heart attack." The nurse said it while holding the EKG graft for him to see.

"Then page the on call cardiologist," he suggested.

"Only you can make that decision or I would have done it twenty minutes ago." The nurse was extremely sarcastic. For some reason she wasn't worried about losing her job. At that moment I didn't give a crap about hospital politics. I just wanted the burning in my chest to stop.

I was rolled into a very cold room with a lot of TV screens. I got to watch as he inserted a tube into my leg. Then one of the TVs showed its progress as it wound it's way to my heart. When he shot the tick spit into my artery the clot washed away. Once it was gone I felt some better, but not as good as I felt when he hit me with the morphine. I drifted off to sleep quietly within seconds.

When I awoke, it was to the smiling face of a nurse at least ten years younger. She looked as though she were suffering from the night before. Her hair was still spiked though she had obviously tried to make it lay down.

"Could I have some water?"

"Not just yet, but you can have some ice. You need to be awake a while before I give you anything you could choke on. Coughing would rip out your stitches and they are in a major artery." She stood, then walked to the table beside my bed. I always notice a woman's body, so even as lousy as I felt, I noticed hers. She was as skinny as a snake. She could have been an anorexic teenaged boy as far as anyone could tell from her body,

"You wanna stop looking at my ass?" she asked.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you got that terrible disease, 'No Assatol'," I replied.

"You really should not hurt my feelings. I have control of your morphine,." She was at least smiling when she said it. I drifted off to sleep again.

I was in the hospital five days and had a total of four different nurses. My favorite was the skinny teenager with the spiked hair. I was sure she sat at the foot of my bed listening to heavy metal music while she did her paperwork.

By the third day I was up and walking around on my own regularly. I walked all over the floor. I would have walked to the coffee shop for some decent coffee, if I hadn't had the monitor. They told me it would beep like crazy if I got out of range.

When the doctors were poking me, they were telling me that I was about to die. According to them only a bypass operation would save me. The surgeon had managed to open the artery and put in a stint. Also according to them I had three more arteries on the verge of collapse. They begged, pleaded, and threatened me but I was adamant, The one thing they didn't realize was that I just didn't care.

So on the fifth day Abba began a new life. For one thing I was smoke free, Five days on pain drugs and most likely some mood meds, made the nicotine drying out process bearable. I was determined to stay off the devil weed. The fact that cigarettes took yet another giant leap in cost while I was about to have a huge reduction in income entered heavily into my decisions.

Since I had banged around the department for over twenty years, I knew what the next few weeks would bring. I would be determined unfit for full duty. I could either transfer to a desk job or take an early, reduced benefit retirement. I made my decisions while still in the hospital. I was in for a big time life change for sure.